How about a 180?

So I am now realizing I am just going to have to live with the fact that I am one of those people who starts out blogs/posts with "I know I haven't updated this in a while"

That sucks.

You would think that maybe I have been so fantastically busy with my life and living out my dream of being a famous musician. Quite the contrary. Things change, that's life....and it's still amazing to me.

I joined Fury For The Son back around late January/early Feb. 2008. We practiced the crap out of those songs. We played our first show, it was amazing. I hear the Spokane Valley area had a hospital overflow with people with condition known as "having your face melted" However, the first show was our last show. We started recording and all was well. Until Anthony packed up his car and moved back to Oregon to give his life a new start. Good luck to him! However I then realized that my band was done. All that work was lost, but all the memory will remain and I had a blast. I'm totally fine with this because as long as I am failing at following my dreams, I'm still living for my dream.

I wanted to try starting a new band with remnants of old bands, but I'm no frontman. I can't possibly organize something like that. So I will just go back to writing one or two songs whenever inspiration strikes.

I am starting to realize an older passion for film. I loved my video production classes in high school and just never continued on with it. It would be amazing to go to film school, but at the same time, it's money I don't have and it's in a place I don't live. I could easily just move and take loans, but I don't even know if I really want to go to film school. I like reading up and learning at my own pace and learning what I want to learn.

I've started developing a story and a screenplay. There will be more on that when it's developed, but for now that's all I'm gonna go into.

Follow Dreams.

Blink 182, oh happy day

Just watched Blink do their first televised performance in like 4 years or so...amazing, They will be on Leno again tomorrow, and you can be sure I will watch. Tour begins soon and I shall be traveling to Seattle on Sep. 10th to see them. It will be the greatest day ever. yay. 

Updates for the few people who might read this

Oh let's see where I am in my life. I have been crazy busy at work. Not a lot of fun. Trying not to complain though because I could be in the unemployment line like half of the world right now. Some people are trying to find something just enough to get their bills paid, and I am working more than I possibly need to be. Hopefully it will all start getting better in the coming months, but in the mean time I guess I will just make some crazy amounts of money and have no life.

Fury For The Son is going great. I love playing music. We talked it over today, and our first tour van is totally going to have a giant unicorn horn sticking out above the windshield. I'm quite aware we haven't even had our first show yet, but no worries, we will go on our own tour, and hopefully work will let me do that when the time comes, but even if they don't, I don't care. It's my dream and I will leave my job to live that dream. 

I love my friends and the amazing talent they have. I want everyone of my friends to be successful in life and become absolutely awesome at whatever they do. I want to come back to Post Falls in 5 to 10 years and hang out with everyone and hear about their adventures, but for now we must all work on living those adventures. So start living people so I can have my stories when the time comes.

I've stopped looking for a significant other at the time. If they want to find me, that would be excellent because I just don't have the time. It's rather hard to find someone I could see myself being with in all aspects of my life. My friends come in a wide variety....some are musical, some faithful, some vulgar, and some just plain weird. Finding a girl that fits into all these situations is not easy to find....some are just too hardcore, and others are just not hardcore enough haha, and hardcore is such a funny way to describe someone. So let it be known....looking for a lot of qualities in a girl, here are a sample of some.

1) Must be awesome

2) Must laugh at rappers

3) Like me for me

4) In some way be artsy

5) Have the ability to rock out

If you have seen this person, have them contact me.

I'm tired of individuals that can't make up their mind if they want to be a part of my life or not. It gets annoying when they change their answer every 4-8 months. 

I miss sleeping for 10-12 hours without a care in the world. That was nice.

I do love my life. No matter how down I may get one day. I still love what I have. I wouldn't trade it, because no life is perfect. 

I love my iPhone and everyone should get one because it is the greatest thing ever. Seriously, an App. for everything. 

Goals for summer 2009

-See Blink-182 in concert

-Record FFTS CD

-Play first show with FFTS

-Organize Birdy Mitten tourney

-Don't get sunburned

Okay, it's planned

That's my update

Being sick is really not fun. Can I be better now? It's only been two days and I'm ready for it to be over. What a joy filled post this is. Okay, time to go get drugs. bye.

Living for my dying wish

I love Rise Against. Not just the music, but the message they have behind all their songs. It's not phoned in at all. It's true to what they believe. One of my favorites is the lyrics to "Give It All" 

We give it all 
This is the reason why I sing
So give it all
And it's these reasons that belong to me
Today I offer up myself to this
I'm living for my dying wish

I give it all 
Now there's a reason
There's a reason
To give it all

I love that song...I really want a tattoo with the words "living for my dying wish" Whatever that wish may be. The wish to love, to play, to laugh, to dream, but above all, the wish to do what defines you as you. 

I remember in speech we did this weird little test where it had all of these adjectives on a piece of paper, and you picked the five that you thought best described you....and then you had two other people pick the five they thought best described you. Afterwards you would compare and it really showed how others see you compared to who you thought you were....I know it's not 100% accurate because there are so many ways to describe somebody, and to narrow it down to five is a bit ridiculous, but I want the day to come where the answers read alike. I will know I'm not hiding who I am.....

And just to finish with a lyric by another band I love...Straylight Run....

"Sing like you think no one's listening" 

That is an amazing line....sing your heart out....don't let what others might think get in the way of passion.

New Band, New Opportunities

I would just like to say that I am so excited right now. I am playing music again....well, not that I ever stopped playing music, but I now belong to a new band; a new family is more like it. Fury For The Son, that is the band I now play with.

Who can say where it really started...if we are talking about the name of the band, and the beginning of where it started, you will have to ask mister Annie about that....but in terms of how it became what it is now, that I can fill you in on. 

The band is made up of Annie on guitar and vocals, Ryan on guitar, Mark on bass, and myself on the drums.

Ryan came to me one day telling me that he was going to go play guitar with a guy named Annie that he works with, and he mentioned he was looking for a drummer. So Ryan recommended me to fill the spot. It was odd because I have always been the guitar player in the band... so playing on the drums made me a little nervous....so the first day, me and Ryan drove way out in the middle of nowhere to find this guys house, and even before we had set anything up, it already felt like a band. I knew right away just from the Family Guy quotes being thrown around that we had a good connection haha. When we set everything up, Annie just started talking like we had been playing together for years. I just remember words like "Okay, I really want to start really focusing and working on the new album" and I'm thinking, "haha, we haven't even recorded an old album, let alone even played a song together" but it's just how it was. We were a band. We went straight to work on songs he had written. He had actually had this band before he moved to Idaho, but never really had a set line-up....moving forward a bit....we needed a bass player so Mark (mine and Ryan's best friend, roommate, and my former band mate) came into question. So yesterday we practiced with him on bass and it was the final piece to the band....We are getting closer with each practice to recording and getting ready for shows...the feeling is great. Something tells me that this is just the first you will hear from us. We are going somewhere with this. Just wait...

Blink Is Back

Today is probably the best day ever. Blink-182 is getting back together. The rumors started earlier this week when it was announced they would be presenting an award together at the Grammys. I had to look into this....I will give you a little back story. I sound like a 12 year old girl for being so giddy about this, but Blink was the reason I started playing music. Sitting in my sisters car at the mall when I was in jr. high. All the songs on the CD I absolutely loved...it was about a year later when I was bored one night listening to their live album that I decided to go upstairs and grab my guitar my grandpa had bought me. I started learning every Blink song I could. They were a huge influence to me and most of my friends. When I was in high school, my junior year I believe. They announced they were breaking up. They both went off to other bands. Mark Hoppus who played Bass, and Travis Barker, the drummer went on to form (+)44  and Tom Delonge went on to form Angels and Airwaves. I loved both bands, but it still wasn't Blink. I had the opportunity to see Travis Barker play at warped tour with his side project The Transplants...and this last summer I saw Tom in Angels and Airwaves, which was a great experience for me because he was the biggest motivation for me....I was very sad that I never got the opportunity to see Blink 182 live....A few months back, Travis Barker was in a plane crash which took the lives of 4 people, he was severely burned but walked away from the crash with his live...Tom pretty much walked out on blink and it ended a band and friendships. Mark and Travis had not spoken to Tom since the day he walked out...however recently following Travis' plane crash the band started talking with phone calls, and soon started hanging out re-connecting friendships....now to the Grammys. They were on stage and announced "Blink is Back" Their website announced that they are already writing and recording the next Blink record. I love all of my friends who knew how much the band meant to me as I was showered with text messages and phone calls about the news, my sister, my friends, a couple ex-girlfriends (one of who doesn't even talk to me thought this was important enough to say). Haha, I am so happy. They are my biggest influence. Everything I do with music started with listening to them. So I am very fortunate to have the opportunity to see them live once more.  

It Takes Talent

Hmmm, rate one of your talents on a scale of one to ten...then watch a you tube video of that same talent, I bet your number drops about 5 points haha. There are some very talented individuals out there. Most have talents you wouldn't even think of until you see them. Truly is amazing to me. Sadly, they will probably never be famous for whatever it is. Yet Paris Hilton has somehow made a career of being a useless whore-bitch-slut-blond without talent. 

Shame on me for even writing this because it just gives her more attention than she deserves. Then they give people like her and Nicole Ritchie a tv show to just show the world how stupid they are, but the public watches and makes them more money. Saying I wish death upon her would be harsh...mainly to everybody else because that would just be one more reason to plaster her ugly face all over every magazine and news station.....and then there are the Bratz dolls. Pulling the head off of a Barbie and blowing them up with fireworks was fun for me because it was a girly doll and I was a little boy....but doing the same to a Bratz doll would be more like a voodoo doll situation where hopefully somewhere out there, a Bratz look a like would be driving the wrong way on a one-way street, while on her cell phone laughing and saying "I KNOW RIGHT???" with that God-awful upward inflection , as she is applying her whore make-up to her fake orange tan, and flipping her platinum blond hair back, suddenly gets hit by a giant truck and catches fire, and she tries to remember the famous "stop drop and roll" phrase, but sadly she can only recite the lyrics to a lil' jon song which was blaring in her car that says "bend over to the front and touch your toes" .......hmmm evil thoughts...a little to far??? Don't worry, one loss of life is nothing compared to the amount of new babies being born as a result of their unprotected sex....I'm done. 

What would you attempt if you knew you couldn't fail?

Probably one of my favorite phrases/questions of all time. So many people have these hidden passions inside them, and they rarely act of them. I know so many people in college right now that really don't want to be there. They have dreams like we all do. Dreams to do what they love and not just hold true to what is safe. (Warning: I may go off on a few tangents, but trust me, it's all going towards the same point)

I had always planned to go to college. Whenever we had the counselors in our classrooms asking the questions "who plans on a technical school?...Who plans on a two year college?....Who plans on a 4 year university?"  I would always raise my hand for the 4 year university. It was always put in my mind. GO TO COLLEGE, GO TO SCHOOL, YOU WON'T SUCCEED WITHOUT COLLEGE...COLLEGE...COLLEGE...COLLEGE.  They would show you the graphs...here is how much a dropout makes on average, here is how much a high school grad makes...associate degree...bachelors...masters...doctorate. The more school you go to, the better you are. It has been shoved down our throats for years, and it's what I thought was true. Then came my favorite class ever... Entrepreneurship.

Mr. Lawson taught it. I learned all sorts of information in the short semester class, but I loved every minute of it. I got to create my own business plan about a recording studio, design my products,  and think through the whole process. It was a lot fun, and it really got me thinking about other options in life.

I'm not against college. Some people belong there; some people need to go there in order to do what they want. My battle is with the people that tell you "you must go to school" because then some people end up there and don't have a damn clue what they want to do. They throw money away, scrambling to find a career choice. I have been out of high school for almost three years now. I have not gone on to advance my education...yet... I recently found something I would like to go to school for. The art institute in Seattle teaches an audio engineering program. I want to start my own recording studio. It's my plan in life. It might be nice to learn some more about it from high educators. However now I just have to figure out if the 40,000 dollars is worth it or not. 

What would I attempt if I could not fail?? I would be playing guitar in a band. I would play shows every day and write music because it's what I love to do. I had a great thing going for me all through high school. Those who know me, know "Foreign DNA" the band I was in for about five or six years. We had something great going on, but then slowly it fell apart. Our drummer went off to college, we still played a couple shows, but that was the first nail in the coffin. Then the rest of us graduated and another member left to college. It was pretty much done after that. In a conversation I had with our drummer after the band had passed he told me that he would love nothing more than to leave college and come play music full time, but he needs that safety. the safety that college and the air force provided him with. I respect that, but at the same time, I still have never known a better drummer than him. There isn't a doubt in my mind that if all Foreign DNA would have given their all, we could at least be somewhere right now. 

It's the story of so many. They have these passions, and dreams of what they want to really be doing, but hold steady to what is safe and true. In today's world it's scary, I know, but out of the three or four people who might read this....just don't let a dream die because you think it's not possible. 

Judging a book by its cover

I can't say I have never done it before, but you should never judge anyone to quickly. I spent my whole early life as a "good" kid who never did anything wrong. I didn't swear, I tried to obey my parents, did my homework, straight A's, and all that. Slowly I slipped in some ways...you know, the first time I dropped the F-bomb, lied to my teachers about why I don't have my homework, talked back to my mom and dad. Whatever!! I didn't care about the little things because I was still a good person. I look at all the kids out there, and I was a saint comparatively. The problem that comes with that is that you become the goody goody kid. Why you are judged for that makes no sense to me, but it happens to lots of people. It's hard to fit in after that for some things. Trying to start a punk band as goody goody kid??? 

Here come the accusations....I don't drink or smoke weed or cause riots...Suddenly you aren't "PUNK" whatever the fuck that means. I'm not trying to be "punk", I have a band.....I play guitar, we were talented...but because we didn't do the "bad" stuff, we weren't cool. I guess talent doesn't count for much these days. It's all about image for people. I don't have a mowhawk, and I can hold a steady job, and afford a house payment....not very punk haha. If you don't cuss in your songs, suddenly you are a Christian band to people. I never got that one either....and you become a sell-out if you even think of doing it for a living...why does it matter??? If I can make money doing what I love, why not do it...."wow, you love animals and want to be a veterinarian....you fucking sell-out"  lol, it makes no sense. I can see if you are in it JUST for the money...but that's not why I play music, I play it because I love it. If people enjoy the music I make, that's fine with me.....where am i going with this... lol..

Now that I am older and have a few tattoos on my arm, people see them and mothers immediately think I am a druggy punk. In ways it bothers me, but I think I love it. You can look at me any way you want. You are always going to be judged by someone. So I have more respect for the ones who grow to know and love me for everything I am, and not just a little part of me. Those are your true friends. Don't judge people to quick.

Remember Me

Back when I was in high school, probably around sophomore or junior year, we were watching this video on the holocaust. There was a story about a young boy and girl in a concentration camp. They became really good friends inside the camp, but then one day the boy was taken away and thrown onto a train heading towards one of the death camp areas. The girl managed to get around the guards and make it to the outside of the train where all she could see was her new friends hand sticking out of the barred windows, she held his hand outside the window and ran as far with the train as she could until she had to let go; she never saw the boy again...It was a really sad story and I wrote this song based on that...

What would you say,

If I had to take the next train,

Away from here,

Would you take the time to learn,

All there is to know,

Or would you hold me, 

Hoping time goes slow,

What would you do,

If I told you I had one day,

Left to spend with you,

Would you tell me everything,

That you needed to get out,

Or would you have us sing,

What would we sing about,

We would sing about the beauty,

The beauty that is you and me, 

Sing about the time you talked about our lives as elderlys

Sing about the past and the times we hold so high

They'll all just be a memory after tonight

We shared some laughs and let out cries, 

But nothing's worse than this goodbye,

Nothing could prepare me for this final look into your eyes,

The final laugh the final cry,

The final time we say goodbye,

Until we meet again, until we laugh again,

What would you do,

If I told you all of this, 

Was true,

That I'm leaving tomorrow,

And I don't know when,

I will see you again,

But I will see you then,

And we will sing about the beauty,

The beauty that is you and me, 

Sing about the time you talked about our lives as elderlys

Sing about the past and the times we hold so high

They'll all just be a memory after tonight

We shared some laughs and let out cries, 

But nothing's worse than this goodbye,

Nothing could prepare me for this final look into your eyes,

The final laugh the final cry,

The final time we say goodbye,

Until we meet again, until we laugh again...

Just You And Me

I don't always have music to everything I write, so this is a wonderful place to write my lyrics until they find a home. This song is called Just You and Me.....

Walk with me, lay with me

Look to me and say,

With your eyes, and not your words,

That you are here to stay

And take my hand

And with my heart

Promise me we'll never be apart

I know....

I know that you are mine

And I know, I know,

We'll stand up to the test of time

And I know that you are mine

And so I say to you

Goodnight, Goodnight

I'll see you in my dreams

I'll wake up here tomorrow

And I'll find you next to me,

And I say,

Goodnight, Goodnight

I'll pray for you and me

That we could stay awake forever

And still be in a dream,

Just you and me

Because I was told to do this...

So I have never had a "blog" before. I actually despise the word, not because of what they are but for some random reason I just hate the word BLOG. Much like my hate for the word exfoliate. It's just one of those things I suppose, and I'm telling you right now, I tend to wander in my stories but don't worry, it will all come together.....usually. 

So, moving on...as I was talking to a wonderful friend, Mr. Brad Reynolds, we were discussing blogs and how they should have a purpose or some sort of meaning behind them. I told him that I couldn't think of anything I would want to write about and that is why I didn't have a blog. Well I made up my own reason now. The title of this entry is "because I was told to do this" which doesn't really sound like much of a purpose, but I will explain. I was told to start a blog by Brad's wife, who just happens to be my longtime best buddie Ashley. I told her the same story about how I wouldn't know what to write about, and I agree with Brad, it should have purpose. Now for anybody who knows me, music is my life. I love it, I play it, I breathe it. The words I write and sing about come from the usual life experience...happy love songs about a girl, and then the lovely break up songs that follow. But rather than write about the same crap that is heard every day, I enjoy writing something real. I get so much inspiration from my friends and what they have to say; do they even know this?? Inspiration comes from everywhere, a picture, a song, a movie, a book, a person...whatever...but I figure, maybe I have some things to say that could inspire. I can't imagine what, but I would like to think my words aren't totally useless. So there is my purpose...writing in hopes that I can inspire. First post is written and done.